All Things Homo. Well, Many Things…

Because words mean things, words matter.

“First they came for the Communists, but I was not a Communist - so I said nothing.
Then they came for the Social Democrats, but I was not a Social Democrat - so I did nothing.
Then came the trade unionists, but I was not a trade unionist - so I did nothing.
And then they came for the Jews, but I was not a Jew - so I did nothing.
Then when they came for me, there was no one left who could stand up for me.“

 - Martin Niemöller

 

When I came out I was 16 years old.  In the 1980’s.  In small town Alabama, on the top of it.  The only people who spoke for me, spoke to me, spoke about me, were all heterosexual.  Some of them were good people and took no notice of the difference, but most were bad in that they demonized and ostracized me and tried to change me into something that suited them a little bit better.

I read voraciously on topics of all kinds, mostly religion and sociology which in turn geared me toward philosophy.  In teaching myself how to think, I taught myself how to be by challenging everything I thought I knew and deciding for myself what was what - on my own terms for a change instead of someone else’s.  That was when I began learning - really learning who I was and who I wanted to be.

I learned that the only thing wrong with me was that I was giving in to these people who were making uninformed and unfair judgments and assessments of who I am. 

 

I learned that it is not my job to make other people comfortable with me. 

 

I learned that you MUST  speak up when you see an injustice, because that is how character is built - and when you say nothing, sometimes that says everything. 

 

I learned that what I think of myself matters a great deal more than what others think of me. 

 

I learned that it is much easier to have standards than it is to live up to and maintain them. 

 

I learned that people can be unbelievable cruel and unkind, but they can also surprise you if you let them in the nicest of ways. 

 

I learned that a true man writes his own history rather than letting others do it for him.

I was told many times along the way that I needed to just shut up, be inconspicuous, and stop waving all of my flags on all of my soapboxes.  I didn’t choose silence, I chose my voice and my backbone and stood up to be for others what no one was available to be for me.  I haven’t shut up since, and I reject all notions that I should.  For that confused teenager searching for a voice to help them find their own, I never will.

Words mean things.  Words matter.

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