Jul 11 2008
The Homosexual Agenda
This originally was the brainchild of my friends at annoy.com, which sourced and quoted my post “That’s MISTER Faggot To You!” in the original piece. I loved it and thought it was genius.
INTRODUCTION
How many of you haven’t heard of the “Gay Agenda” or “Radical Homosexual Agenda”?
Although many claim there isn’t one, here it is, the new, improved, radical homosexual agenda for 2006. A roadmap, if you will, towards destroying nuclear families, and reshaping society to the point that if your son isn’t blowing his professor, don’t expect any graduation ceremonies.
For all the fear-mongering pigs that use religion to marginalize, humiliate, electrocute and murder others, may this new Gay Agenda permeate your worst nightmares.
THE GAY AGENDA
1. Gay men and lesbians should marry one another, and extol each other every tangible and intangible benefit the institution provides. They cannot stop gay marriage as long as gays are marrying. If you are gay and single without a desire to marry, marry a homosexual of the opposite sex anyway, and donate any marriage credits the government may offer to any gay organization seeking to destroy heterosexual norms.
2. Once benefits are secured, divorce. Wreck the sanctity of the institution by driving up the divorce rates from the current 52% to at least 80%.
3. Remember 52% of marriages end in divorce, the remaining 48% in death. There’s nothing sanctimonious about that. Demand the institution and then wreck it. James Dobson was right about our evil intentions. We just plan to be quicker than he thought.
4. Get a gun and learn how to shoot. It’s as much about arming bears as it is bearing arms. If you think you’re protected by the Constitution, think again. If they don’t allow you to marry, the next amendment will be to deny gays guns.
5. Reclaim Jesus. He was a Jewish queer to begin with, and don’t let anyone forget it.
6. BAN DIVORCE. If the institution is so in need of protection, seek a constitutional amendment to ban divorce. One marriage, once.
7. Normalize - Thwart fashion and style sense inclinations so that homophobes cannot separate you from straights. Gay vague my ass. Make it gay impossible to tell.
8. Hate Crime laws are just the beginning. Once those are passed either federally or in all 50 states, begin campaign to eliminate homophobia entirely.
9. Like “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” thoughts or words equal conduct. Homophobic inclinations alone, even without any actions, should be criminal and punishable to the full extent of the law.¹
10. Penetrate the sperm banks to perpetuate the gene. Although the nature vs. nurture debate rages on, ensure that as many vials of semen contain gay genes.
