All Things Homo. Well, Many Things…

“No one is born gay, you choose to be gay.” 

I used to get this one all of the time.  It never really bothered me until it came wrapped in a bible and was used as a club to beat me with.  That’s when I started looking into  far more substantial and valid texts where one might find logic, reason, truth, and my favorite - FACTS!  If a fight breaks out, I want to know I can defend myself.  Knowledge and backbone are the best weapons you can have in an argument next to the one thing that will ensure you’ll win, which is a cool head and nerves of steel.

I believe in science and what can be proved, not in jumping on a bandwagon of opinions or beliefs that cannot be backed up with substance and rely on superstition.  That sort of thing is not good enough and cannot pass muster.  It is the same reason why I’m an atheist, quite frankly.  When believers ask me to prove that god does not exist, I explain that it isn’t my place to disprove anything - the burden of proof lies with the believer, and until or unless there is evidential support that is fact based and capable of withstanding scrutiny, I’ll remain unconvinced.

Neuroscientist Simon LeVay, author of The Biology Of Sexual Orientation noted key differences in the brain structure of heterosexual men versus homosexual men; most notably in the areas of the brain that control out attraction to others.  Canadian scientists have further evidence to support this claim.  More recently a team of Swedish researchers have concluded essentially the same findings as LeVey, but for lesbians.  There is much more to be found, including linkage between DNA markers on the X chromosome and male sexual orientation.  Part of this study centered around an interesting finding that asserts homophobia may have a genetic basis also.

The thing about having this argument with intolerant people of any religious stripe is that you’re never going to trump their bible with any argument, however well reasoned or presented.  Sometimes they even make it easy for you and say some of the most horrible, nasty things you could imagine when you get too close to exposing their proclamations as weak subtext for their agenda - especially when they use bullshit phrases like ‘homosexual agenda’ or ‘culture war’.  The point at which someone loses their argument the fastest is when they let their emotions get the better of them and they start throwing out bombs.  They cannot win on merit, so they default to trying to bark louder.  In that second, claim your victory.

The argument against a genetic or biological component to sexuality is much like this argument, only I have come across evidence to support my assertions to this effect.  There is also my own variation of Pascal’s Wager, which I find insulting to the very god they profess to believe in.  Imagine being so staunch in your belief that you are actually more clever than the omnipotent entity that is responsible for all things and that knows you’re full of shit and only ascribing to your faith just in case there really IS a hell.  Don’t think about that too long or you’ll have a nosebleed.  So the answer to that assertion of choice versus biology in much simpler terms is to give it in the form of an answer.  If all homosexuals choose their sexuality, it presupposes they were not homosexual to begin with.  By that standard of logic, all professed homosexuals were once heterosexual and at some point made the active, conscious choice to adopt homosexuality.  Conversely, all professed heterosexuals were born homosexual and rejected that sexuality in favor of a different one.  They cannot have it both ways, or the standard falls apart.  The question is asked after explaining this, then asking them to explain what was the deciding factor in their lives for them to become heterosexual as opposed to their biologically ‘normal’ heterosexuality.  If they cannot answer, they must cease to make the claim.  Then you get to explain how having a belief that you cannot explain or back up with valid reasoning isn’t to be considered seriously.

I’m a gay man. Faggot, queer, nelly, Mary, cocksucker, butt pirate, woofter, whatever you want to call me - I don’t care. You don’t have to like me, there are plenty of others that do. They more than make up for the lot of you who dislike me for being a homo. I’m not proud to be gay any more than I’d be proud to be a man or a caucasian, because these things, much like my sexuality, were decided for me - no matter what you may think about that. Being gay is actually the least interesting thing about me, in fact. Want to know some of the more interesting things about me? I can fix the plumbing when a pipe bursts. I can throw a football AND catch a baseball. I can fix the truck if it breaks down in most cases. I spent years of my life helping to raise children that were not my own when their heterosexual sperm donors couldn’t be bothered, and made appropriate sacrifices to do so, and never ONCE complained about my choices - and am to this day a parental figure to those same children. In other words, I worked my ass off to earn what I got. I survived being beaten to a pulp by 5 rednecks who jumped me once at night when I was alone and called me most of the names in the first sentence of this paragraph - because I “looked like one”. Consequently, I have no fear of getting my ass kicked now because that’s already happened, so by all means, step to me with some bullshit and threaten to kick my ass, and by all means assume that I’m not going to fuck you up because after all, I’m just a cocksucker, right? Oh, if I had a dime for every asshole that ever underestimated me with that mistake…

When these mindless shitstains cloak themselves in God and indoctrinate children into doing their bidding, all the while accusing US of having an agenda to push, I have to take some comfort in knowing that I’m better than they are. So I won’t be silent tomorrow, and I won’t speak my truth only on certain days. I’m not that guy, I’m this one, and that’s me EVERY day.  My integrity doesn’t come with a volume control.

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