All Things Homo. Well, Many Things…

“No one is born gay, you choose to be gay.” 

I used to get this one all of the time.  It never really bothered me until it came wrapped in a bible and was used as a club to beat me with.  That’s when I started looking into  far more substantial and valid texts where one might find logic, reason, truth, and my favorite - FACTS!  If a fight breaks out, I want to know I can defend myself.  Knowledge and backbone are the best weapons you can have in an argument next to the one thing that will ensure you’ll win, which is a cool head and nerves of steel.

I believe in science and what can be proved, not in jumping on a bandwagon of opinions or beliefs that cannot be backed up with substance and rely on superstition.  That sort of thing is not good enough and cannot pass muster.  It is the same reason why I’m an atheist, quite frankly.  When believers ask me to prove that god does not exist, I explain that it isn’t my place to disprove anything - the burden of proof lies with the believer, and until or unless there is evidential support that is fact based and capable of withstanding scrutiny, I’ll remain unconvinced.

Neuroscientist Simon LeVay, author of The Biology Of Sexual Orientation noted key differences in the brain structure of heterosexual men versus homosexual men; most notably in the areas of the brain that control out attraction to others.  Canadian scientists have further evidence to support this claim.  More recently a team of Swedish researchers have concluded essentially the same findings as LeVey, but for lesbians.  There is much more to be found, including linkage between DNA markers on the X chromosome and male sexual orientation.  Part of this study centered around an interesting finding that asserts homophobia may have a genetic basis also.

The thing about having this argument with intolerant people of any religious stripe is that you’re never going to trump their bible with any argument, however well reasoned or presented.  Sometimes they even make it easy for you and say some of the most horrible, nasty things you could imagine when you get too close to exposing their proclamations as weak subtext for their agenda - especially when they use bullshit phrases like ‘homosexual agenda’ or ‘culture war’.  The point at which someone loses their argument the fastest is when they let their emotions get the better of them and they start throwing out bombs.  They cannot win on merit, so they default to trying to bark louder.  In that second, claim your victory.

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1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.

2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can’t legally get married because the world needs more children.

3. Obviously, gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if Gay marriage is allowed, since Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are property, blacks can’t marry whites, and divorce is illegal.

6. Gay marriage should be decided by people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.

7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

10. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven’t adapted to things like cars or longer lifespans.

12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a “separate but equal” institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will.

They say if you are not outraged, then you are not paying attention. I for one am outraged, and if you have a single nerve capable of firing off any common sense whatsoever, you should be as well. At the end of this post you’ll find code that you can use to link back. If you come across any links or organizations that should be included, reply with them. Thank you in advance for reading.

We are living in a time of extremist war against us all. What you think could never happen in this country IS happening, while the majority of us live our lives as if we are not affected and nothing will break our safe, comfortable little bubbles. We like to live as though nothing will ever be bad enough to really come in and destroy us, which is such an American trait, and take no notice of those who try relentlessly to do just that. To quote former U.S. Senator Barry Goldwater: “A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big enough to take it all away.” Our government and the current administration throws out catchphrases like “freedom” and “democracy”, “right to live” and “judicial tyranny”, and gems like “defending our homes and families from fanatical, fundamentalist terrorism” almost on a daily basis - and has the nerve to ignore the fact that it has been the victim of the same kind of malevolent hypocrisy. We are living under the reign of Fundamentalist Christian terrorism, and we do nothing to stop it - least of all change the way we think about ourselves and use our voices in dissension. Use your minds and your voices and be the change you wish to see in the world.

Propaganda is and has always been a dangerous tool, especially when it is being used in the name of God. When God and the Bible (and the Quran, and the Book of Mormon) are being used as a club to beat people with, justice is raped and fairness ceases to exist. No one has the right to decide anything for you unless you make that choice for yourself to allow such a thing. I am never going to stand for anyone dictating what is or is not appropriate for me, least of all someone who appoints themselves as a spokesperson for an imaginary sky fairy I don’t even believe exists.

So to all of you, like minded people and not - gay, straight, faithful, faithless, questioning, whatever - understand something. I am an American, goddamnit. A big gay one. I need no one’s approval or permission to be who I am, and that includes loving intensely, fucking passionately, or saying whatever the bloody fuck I feel like saying. If you don’t like it, seek therapy. I support your right to say whatever misguided, rhetorical bullshit you want to say, but do not think for a single second that any of it is taken seriously. And I encourage anyone that listens to you to do the same, because the truth is you speak for no one but yourselves and if there really were any such thing as God then you are all completely fucked.

What you think could never happen IS happening. The same type of speech that Hitler used against the Jews is and always has been used against GLBT people by The Religious Reich. From the fringe to the mainstream, we’re going to cover all of these wingnuts and I’m going to get your brain integrated with them all personally before they take over and we are all forced to live in a Margaret Atwood novel.

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This post is difficult for me to write for a number of reasons, but I’ve never spoken about it before - and given the current theme of my posts during Pride month, I felt it was necessary to write about it. I make this post in honor and remembrance of my transgendered friends - old and new - and those who are no longer alive to share in our lives anymore. Deidre & Ashley, I love and miss you terribly, I haven’t tears enough for what each of you suffered and I will never get over not being there when you left.

I want you to imagine something for me. I want you to imagine that things don’t match up between what you know and what you are. That there is something so very wrong between who you see in the mirror and who you know you really are, enshrined in taboo and shame, that you are forced to live an unfathomable lie. Consider that whatever it is about you that you know is wrong is so overwhelming you can barely bring yourself to accept it, let alone say it out loud to another person. As my friend Jennifer says “I don’t want to say it, ’cause you know if you don’t say it it’s not real.” In your desperation, you begin to think that there is no hope you’ll ever find another person who will accept this hidden part of you, compounding the shame you carry like bricks in your heart and knowing you are powerless. You may have thoughts of suicide. You may act out in self destructive ways and turn your anger inward on yourself. You may feel so completely isolated in this private hell that you’ll try anything to numb the pain, from drugs and alcohol or being excessively mean and cruel to overcompensating for what you feel are your shortcomings - anything to not have to deal with “it”. Imagine this is a secret so overwhelming that it prevents you from ever feeling like you could be happy, like you could ever live like “normal” people do. Imagine feeling every day like there is a bomb about to go off in your life and you have nowhere to hide. Imagine having a part of your body that feels so damaged, so alien, that you have considered self mutilation just to be free from the prison it places you in. Imagine feeling like this private part of yourself that by all rights should be shared with the world is so overwhelming that you can barely breathe. Perhaps you cannot put these descriptions on yourself. Fine, have it your way. Imagine the person I’m describing is someone you know, someone whose secretive, or odd behaviour makes you question the deep sense of sadness they reek of. Maybe it’s your friend. Maybe it’s your father. Maybe it’s your child. Maybe it’s your spouse. Maybe it really just is YOU.

Now imagine me, and imagine I’m telling you to your face that there is nothing I find wrong - or ugly - or shameful about you. I know better. If nobody else, I can see through the things most “normal” people cannot get past and see what makes a whole person themselves. That’s what I chose to say to someone I love very much many years ago when I knew precious little about transgendered people. I was so honored and I felt so trusted when a dear friend of mine came out to me as transgendered because she knew somehow that I would understand and accept her if only she could find her courage and her voice to tell me. The first thing I did was asked her to tell me her name. She kind of looked at me strangely, and I told her “I know what name you were given, but I want to know YOUR name. Because from now on, you’ve got to be who you know you are. And I love you. So I’m asking you again, what is your name?” By the time I finished this, we were both crying and hugging and being as close as two people can be emotionally outside of being in romantic love. Once the reality of this all sunk in, I knew I would never be the same and I was proud of myself that I could help open that door for someone I loved. Ever since then, I make it a habit of holding doors open - literally and metaphorically.

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This originally was the brainchild of my friends at annoy.com, which sourced and quoted my post “That’s MISTER Faggot To You!” in the original piece. I loved it and thought it was genius.

INTRODUCTION

How many of you haven’t heard of the “Gay Agenda” or “Radical Homosexual Agenda”?

Although many claim there isn’t one, here it is, the new, improved, radical homosexual agenda for 2006. A roadmap, if you will, towards destroying nuclear families, and reshaping society to the point that if your son isn’t blowing his professor, don’t expect any graduation ceremonies.

For all the fear-mongering pigs that use religion to marginalize, humiliate, electrocute and murder others, may this new Gay Agenda permeate your worst nightmares.

THE GAY AGENDA

1. Gay men and lesbians should marry one another, and extol each other every tangible and intangible benefit the institution provides. They cannot stop gay marriage as long as gays are marrying. If you are gay and single without a desire to marry, marry a homosexual of the opposite sex anyway, and donate any marriage credits the government may offer to any gay organization seeking to destroy heterosexual norms.

2. Once benefits are secured, divorce. Wreck the sanctity of the institution by driving up the divorce rates from the current 52% to at least 80%.

3. Remember 52% of marriages end in divorce, the remaining 48% in death. There’s nothing sanctimonious about that. Demand the institution and then wreck it. James Dobson was right about our evil intentions. We just plan to be quicker than he thought.

4. Get a gun and learn how to shoot. It’s as much about arming bears as it is bearing arms. If you think you’re protected by the Constitution, think again. If they don’t allow you to marry, the next amendment will be to deny gays guns.

5. Reclaim Jesus. He was a Jewish queer to begin with, and don’t let anyone forget it.

6. BAN DIVORCE. If the institution is so in need of protection, seek a constitutional amendment to ban divorce. One marriage, once.

7. Normalize - Thwart fashion and style sense inclinations so that homophobes cannot separate you from straights. Gay vague my ass. Make it gay impossible to tell.

8. Hate Crime laws are just the beginning. Once those are passed either federally or in all 50 states, begin campaign to eliminate homophobia entirely.

9. Like “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” thoughts or words equal conduct. Homophobic inclinations alone, even without any actions, should be criminal and punishable to the full extent of the law.¹

10. Penetrate the sperm banks to perpetuate the gene. Although the nature vs. nurture debate rages on, ensure that as many vials of semen contain gay genes.

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